jimiizrael.com

Ok, so I been madd, madd busy writing for The Root. I just wrote something about the passing of Sean Levert and ridiculous laws that put fathers in jail for not paying child support. I did a joint about Kimora Lee’s divorce, the flap about “typical white folks,” Microwave fame, single moms vs.the black penis, racism in Vogue and even found time to get a trim at The NPR Barbershop.

So I been running. Sorry, Cobbski. I haven't dissapeared. i just don't write for free as much as I used to.

Next time, I’ll write about the Jeremiah Wright and the UCC. Promise.

Been busy writing about Obama's New-School steezo, Black Fatherhood On TV, Canadian school initiative, noted trick Elliot Spitzer, and the Barbershop.

And now, you're caught up.

Barack Obama's thing has to do with the Rev. Jerimiah Wright, of the United Church of Christ. As many of you know, I was the staff reporter for the UCC's denominational newspaper, UCNews, for 4 years. Next entry, I'll give you some insight into the UCC.

Holla

The writing was good, I'll say that for "The Wire." I say alot more at The Root.com.

So we talked a little bit about Hillary Clinton being down, but not out, on The Barbershop. I wrote about The New Blackface, Baller Barry Bonds and The "Pookie" Vote on The Root.com. And Latoya Peterson wrote something critiquing my critique of Gawker's use of Tionna Smalls on Racialicious.com, and it's in-bounds, except she uses something she purports to be a quote from me in her posting. I comment on it further down in her entry.

On The Root.com, I talked about why Latrell Sprewell is a formidable role model, Dog Chapman is Back! And reflecting on the Duke Rape Scandal two years later, just another in a long line of news capers I got right that most of youse got wrong.

Also, we talked a bit about Obama in Ohio and Fred Armisen playing Obama on SNL in The Barbershop. Like I said, Armisen is a great talent and I dig his work. MSNBC is reporting that he is White and Chinese. Armisen is Latino and Japanese, according to Wikipedia.

So I wake up this morning ready to write, like I do every morning, and I get a note: Crazy Cat Lady is getting’ at you, dog, probably because I wrote this entry about her at The Root.com. Well, I like a good rumble as much as the next cat, and I’m not above criticism. I don’t whine and kvetch when people put my work through the BS meter. When you see someone bitching about it? That’s a sign of an amateur. I’m a pro in the game. The only reason to write into the public sphere is to have your words critiqued and weighed. Otherwise, all you cats hiding behind clever pseudonyms and ironic screen-names? Do us all a favor and just hide your diary between your mattresses. Seriously. Say what you will about Byron Crawford—he’s fat, he’s drunk, he stinks, whatever—but, fuck it all, he signs his work.

And so does Gina MacCauley.

So, Gina MacCauley dedicates a whole post trying to dissect my argument for some personal, introspective responsibility from women. In this case, specifically, black women. She calls me a re-directionalist (clever!), and makes an argument that sounds a lot like ‘if you didn’t have a penis that got hard whenever women took their clothes off, then women wouldn’t do it.’ Then she kind of paints this picture of me as a doddering old fool(WTF?), long in the tooth, trying to “keep it real” on this new-fangled thing called the Internet, and taking that show on the road on National Public Radio. She’s not the first person to lob the “you are a faux B-Boy because you aren’t broke, uneducated and inarticulate” criticism. >shrugs< She even suggests that I have the power to lead a movement of men to get women off the poles, knowing full-well that no woman is going to listen to another man tell her what to do with her body under any circumstances. After she calls me all kinds of misogynist homophobe sexist communist a-holes, she ends the rant by saying as a former stripper, patron of strippers and purveyor of prostitution, I got some helluva nerve. She also disses Skip Gates, accuses me of being an imprecise writer, blah blah blah, blahBLAHblahblah. Her blog entry is really, really long, but I’ve given you the meat of it right here.

OK, so I guess the facts first.

*When writing your opinion, it helps to be specific as to target, and not obsfucate your argument with a buckshot, point-and-shoot type of arguement, like some writers I know, Gina. No names.

*Although Hashim once characterized me as “old,” I’m all of 38. Not balding, no man tits, and not quite ready for retirement yet.

And now, let’s get to Gina’s argument, as I understand it:

“If Men Didn’t Get Aroused By Women Taking Off Their Clothes, Women Wouldn’t Do It For Money.”

Aside from the fact that there are plenty of women that like to see other women strip, yeah, she’s probably right. And media companies shouldn’t prop that up. That’s right too.

But if we taught our daughters—not the virtual ones in the omniverse that Gina has—but the ones living in our homes, or somewhere thereabouts—to love and value themselves enough to offer the world something more than just a sneak peek at their naughty bits for the right price, we can change the culture at the root. That’s My Argument.

As soon as the doctor—or the paternity letter—tells you “it’s a girl,” you realize, as a man, that you are bringing your baby up in world where there will always be someone who wants to pay to see her girl take her clothes off. When she’s grown—like 35--it’ll be her choice. Until then, my job as a father and as a parent is to make sure that she has the wherewithal to keep her clothes on, or is at least prepared for the consequences of a bad choice. Teaching our daughters that everything is someone else’s fault hobbles them and makes them eternally dependent on others to solve their problems (aka Oprahfication). As for my sons, I teach them not to treat women like whores, or solicit that kind of behavior. That women are precious and beautiful, yes, but keep your candy in your pocket, literally and figuratively: don’t be drawn in by a pretty smile, and, when it comes time to choose a mate, to make a choice they can live with. We need to be teaching our boys to be better men and make better choices. Word to Smokey Robinson and The Miracles (link note: the lyric, as sung, addresses young men).

There is no changing anyone: you can’t turn Iceberg Slim into Dr. Huxtable and you can’t make a hoe into a housewife. Those aren’t jimi’s laws. That’s the just the way of it. But in the end, we all have to stand account for our own behavior. So if money is the thing that motivates your daughter to get up on The Pole, you failed, Dad. And Mom. You lost. And it’s not Snoop’s fault, Viacom’s fault or Soupy Sales’ fault. It’s your fault. When you actually have kids, Gina, you learn that everything in the world glitters to them, and it’s up to you to mount the argument that all that glitters is not gold. All money ain’t good money. Getting’ it How You Live? OVER-RATED. There is, after all, work at the post-office.

The reason I call Gina the Crazy Cat Lady is because, like the Crazy Cat Lady on The Simpsons, she went to a good law school—Yale and DUKE, respectively-- so you’d expect good things. Decent conversation. A good argument. Next thing you know, she’s going good for a minute, then she’s throwing random arguments out of a shopping cart—claws out—while regurgitating some incomprehensible mish-mosh of fiery catch phrases, t-shirt politics and mamamaSAYmamasaaMAMAkoosa—type bullshit, invoking the names of Fannie Lou Hamer, Sojourner Truth, Moms Mabley, Lawanda Page or any other truly great black American women in hopes of drowning you in a stew of nostalgic Colt 45 Poster-type black history bullshit and those emotions will shut down your logical mind and you will either run, buy a t-shirt or contribute to her laptop fund. Or maybe all three.

We don’t play that at jdotscom. Ask around. We make Black History, 'round here.

No spin, no prisoners. No shit.

It’s Hard, but It’s Fair.

Now. Runteldat.

We chop it up about everything from Barack Obama to Aretha Franklin this week on The Barbershop, and I give the Ups to my man Gary Coleman and smack Tavis Smiley around on TheRoot.com

I've been a staunch critic of Cosby's Crusade on Ev'ryday Peeples. Looks like he's on the right track now, though, and I write about it on TheRoot.com.

Mitt drops out and we rap about it on The Barbershop, and I write about hipster-goofery, blackface and Homeland Security, on TheRoot.com

Read a book, I say, at The Root.com.